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Book 3 of the Fire Trilogy: Tower of Ash
Tower of Ash By: Lumosify, Apple_Pie, Glubottles4ever, and Fatbunny "Turn that smile upside down." I say. Sancho frowns. Yes! "Who needs a little something to make them feel better?" I squeal. I hand him a paperweight shaped like a rock. I made it all by myself, just for him. I hope he likes the scarlet corner. (I couldn't find the exact shade of paint so I had to improvise.) Sancho looks at it and throws a paper at me. Thank you. Manners? He is definitely ''very depressed. I sit up straight and say, "Sancho, what's wrong? You know you can tell your number one spy." Sancho sits there for a moment. Then I smelled smoke. I look at Sancho and see him slowly hop towards me. I hear the creak of mechanics. Sancho falls over and cracks open. There were gears inside of him and it stopped. A sheet of paper popped out. ''Help. I've been kidnapped. Help. Help. Tower. Pizza. Ice Cream. Ice Cream. Ice cream.'' '' I stare at the paper for a long time, tearing up. I stare at the paper for a long time, tearing up. The hint Sancho gave me could only mean one thing, Alfalfa Ice Cream, the only person who could defeat Sancho, has kidnapped Sancho. Alfalfa used to live in the Leaning Tower of Pizza, but destroyed that tower on my last mission. So where could they be? I decided that I'll check the pizza shop then the Eiffel tower. I ended up burning down the pizza shop because they offered me anchovies and buying a new toilet from the souvenir shop at the Eiffel tower. Then I decided to check the tower of ashes that were left behind after we burned down the leaning tower of pizza. I will track down that Alfalfa and burn down anything that gets in between me and Sancho. But then I found out that the Eiffel Tower in Eskillama is a replica of the real Eiffel Tower, so I filled the toilet with gasoline and threw it inside the Eiffel Tower replica with a lit matchstick. No one in a fifty feet radius survived, except for me, because before I filled up the toilet with stolen gasoline from a random Toyota, I bought a pure metal shield with some of my mission money (I save most of the money I get from the pockets of people I killed). The metal shield melted, but that's okay. I can get a new one when I go to the REAL Eiffel Tower. Using a large portion of my mission money, I buy plane tickets; one for me, and two tickets for the plane ride back in two days, so if I find Sancho he'll have a seat for himself. The cost was insanely high, so I threatened the dude at the desk until he caved and cut the price down to half. The security guards came for me after that, but luckily I had an extra matchstick so I tricked them into the men's bathroom and blew it up with them inside. Then I bought new matchsticks. I get on the plane before anyone else can come and take me away. I was almost late because of the security guards, so the plane takes off almost immediately after I get on. When it's time to sleep, the guy next to me starts snoring really loudly, so I order some Coco-Cola for him and poison it with my own creation, which can get past airplane security. He'll be dead in an hour if he simply smells it, and if he drinks it he'll be dead in half an hour. When the pilot says that they're about to land, I try to sit patiently and wait. But the guy next to me has just woken up and just smelled the drink before drinking it (he'll be dead in fifteen minutes). And I need to find Sancho before Alfalfa kills him or something crazy like that (he can't kill Sancho, but he'll try, I'm sure). "I AM SO DONE WITH AIRPLANES!!! SANCHO'S TELEPORTING IS WAY FASTER THAN THIS!!!" I holler at the top of my lungs. A few Llamas turned around to look at me weirdly, but other than them and the guy next to me (about to die in a minute), no one else notices because they're either still asleep or they've got headphones in and are watching or listening to something. I evilly light a match from my new set of matchsticks (I slid them over to the other side of security before going through) and hold it up. The Llamas gasp and the guy next to me faints. Then I realize that the guy actually just died. Good riddance. I toss the matchstick into the air, quickly light another one, and use the second matchstick to burn a hole in the side of the airplane. "SO LONG, SUCKERS!!!" I yell, before jumping out. I free-fall for a few seconds with my back to the ground. The airplane blows up, and some of the debris hits my face. I have Band-Aids with Sancho smiley-faces on them, though. so it's okay. I don't get seriously injured or anything. Sancho's empathy link he made with me recently still works, apparently. I click a button on the backpack I wore the whole plane ride, and a giant, Sancho parachute opens up. I made it; it's a dark green parachute, but with light green helium spikes all around it, so I can control my landing. I press the deflate button to deflate the helium spikes, one by one. I'll get down faster if I deflate all of them. I'm sure they have helium tanks in Fritoly. Fritoly is a country in-between Italy and Frank. A long time ago, Italy and Frank (once named France, but they liked the old-old tribal name better when they renamed it) were in the middle of a war over Fritoly, which was pretty much-unnamed land in-between their countries. They both wanted control of the land, and they wanted to make it become a part of their country. But then, the King and Queen of Italy died (it was a murder by the Franks), and their eldest daughter stepped up to become the new queen (she was twenty, so she was of age to become Queen). The new queen really saw the war as meaningless killing, so she married her five-year-old sister to the seven-year-old son of the President (who was really like a King but they called him President because he was single and also the Franks liked to think they were a democracy). After that, the President of Frank and the Queen of Italy made a truce and decided to make the land ruled by both of them, but at the same time, the land would have its own government. They thought for three years about what to name the country (there were many arguments) until one day the President and Queen found out that they both like Fritos. So they decided to mesh both of their countries together in the name, and then mesh that with Fritos, to signify their unity via a chip brand name. Only, no one else in the world knows about the real story of Fritoly (everyone thinks it was all peaceful and stuff so that the President and Queen don't get overthrown - one hundred and eighty years will do that to history). I only know the full story because my kind-of friend (we were sort of forced together because my dad was a high-class spy for the Queen and she's the daughter of the Queen), Jagusia Shelby, told me the entire story she learned in her history lessons to prepare to become Queen. When I got to Fritoly, the countries broke apart and gave the Frito brand to America. So I tried to go back to America. I went to the airport since I don't have Sancho to apparate me. What I didn't expect was to be carted away because I had broken a law. Apparently, burning down buildings was against the law. Who knew? So I was stuck in prison with a psychotic Panda who was obsessed with Ballet. It was really annoying so after 3 days there I manage to get a hold of a match. I took my emergency battery acid and burned down the prison. "Sancho! If you are still alive, send me a sign!" I yell. A guy wearing a t-shirt with the statue of liberty runs past me, he's on his phone, so he doesn't seem to notice the burning prison. Wait a minute! The statue of liberty is green, like Sancho, and she carries a torch, which must symbolize by a passion for burning things. My boss must still be alive, and he's probably being held captive in Manhattan. But then a newscast appeared over the Statue of Liberty's head and suddenly, the President of America appeared, Mae Meeples (Jagusia told me). She said that Fritos are terrible and no Americans like them (a bunch of llamas beside me, apparently representing Eskillama, started protesting, and one even pulled out a 'Stop Dropping Fritos On Us' sign), and then she announced that she was giving the brand back to Frank and Italy. "THERE WAS A REASON WE GAVE THE FRITOS BRAND TO YOU TWO COUNTRIES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!" she screeched. Then the screen went blank. So I stole someone's jet and flew back to Fritoly, where a battle had begun after the American President's newscast. I saw Jagusia's Uncle Carlos, a.k.a. President of Frank, yelling war cries on one end of Fritoly, with Jagusia's Aunt Beatrice beaming awkwardly next to him (she was part Frank and part Italian. It sucked to be her), and Jagusia herself yelling war cries on the other. I flew over to Jagusia and hopped out of my jet. "What are you doing?" I asked her. "I thought you liked your Uncle Carlos. And you can stop now, America just gave the Fritos brand back." "We're just having some fun," Jagusia giggled maniacally. "Our countries don't know about America giving the Fritos brand back because they've been so busy waging war on each other. Uncle Carlos and I are just enjoying ourselves before Mom shows up." Suddenly, a loud, booming voice boomed, "JAGUSIANALIANA PUNKIANA SHELBIA!!! JUST WHAT ''DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!!" The Queen of Italy floated down from the sky on a bright yellow bus. "THIS IS WHY I SHOULD HAVE STAYED QUEEN!!!" Jagusia muttered, "Uh oh." "CARLOS!!! YOU ACT JUST LIKE YOUR SIX-YEAR-OLD SELF!!! I SHOULD PETITION FOR A NEW LEADER OF FRANK!!!" Uncle Carlos grinned at her. "Oh, come on, Albaniana, live a little. It's like playing chess, except you have a LIFE!" The Queen ignored him. I gaped at her name. "Her name is Albaniana?" "Yeah, she married into the family; she was born and raised in Albania and the New Albanian language she was named in couldn't be translated to English, so they named her Albaniana once she married Dad," Jagusia (or should I say Jagusianaliana) muttered. "And your name???" "Yeah, well, Mom was drunk when she thought of a name for me," Jagusia turns bright red. "I can see that," I tell her. "EVERYONE, AMERICA GAVE THE FRITOS BRAND BACK TO ITALY AND FRANK!" The Queen yelled. "I NOW RENAME THIS LAND 'FRITOLY'!" "I nominate 'Fritoly' as the name of the land we battle upon," President Carlos Prank piped up, clearly trying to get on the Queen's good side. First Lady Beatrice Prank goggled at him for no apparent reason. "RIGHT!" The Queen shouted. "AND JAGUSIANALIANA, FOR BOTH YOUR HORRIFYING ACTIONS HERE ON THE LAND OF FRITOLY, AND YOUR ACTIONS DURING YOUR CORONATION, I DEMAND YOU GIVE MANTO TO THAT CHILDHOOD FRIEND OF YOURS HERE, ''RIGHT NOW!!!" Jagusia frowned. "I'm sorry, Manto," she said to the cactus sitting on her motorcycle behind her, "Mom's making me." The cactus nods solemnly. "Here," Jagusia hands me the cactus. "His name is Manto, take good care of him, okay? He likes raw fish and salted potatoes. And gold and purple. He hates the colour red. His favourite place is the Leaning Tower of Pizza, or at least the remains of it. But you already knew that, so, I guess you're good to go. Treat him like a prince, because that's who he is, deep inside." "Sure," I say. Manto is reminding me of something. Actually, something about him reminds me of something. "THAT'S IT!!!" I holler. "I NEED TO SAVE SANCHO!!! AND I KNOW JUST WHERE TO FIND HIM!!!" "Wait, Sancho the Cactus, as in, the only other Human Cactus in the world, the living legend?!" Jagusia yells after me as I take her motorcycle and plop Manto on it before sitting in front of him. "HEY, THAT'S MINE!!!" "I'LL RETURN IT!" I yell. And I might actually keep my word because my next destination isn't that far away. I'm going back to the site of the Leaning Tower of Pizza. The ride to the Leaning Tower of Pizza was long. Manto wasn't able to apparate. He was also quite annoying. By the time I got to the Leaning Tower of Pizza, I would have eaten an anchovy and cucumber Pizza to leave Manto. I was going crazy. However, I'm still glad that I didn't because when I arrived at the Leaning Tower of Pizza, Manto's Cactus Instincts were going crazy, as he told me he knew where Sancho was. He led me to an ice cream store and demanded an ice cream before he showed me. I hit him with a book. Manto grumbled as he rubbed his cactus head while buying ice cream for himself only and not buying me one. "RUDE!" I screamed at him. Everyone around me turned their heads. I continue to scream at Manto until some random person came up to me and told me that I was under arrest for cactus abuse. I was being dragged away, but then Manto yelled out, "STOP!" The security guards froze. "She's friends with my old owner, and I can't let her go to jail, even if she abused me!" he shouted. "Let her go RIGHT NOW!" The guards let me go, and I ran back over to the table Manto sat at. I picked him up. "You're a cool cactus, you know that?" I said, and Manto smiled at me. And that's how I learned to like the spoiled-ish cactus. He showed me the way to the middle of the forest and then took out a bottle of battery acid. "Now keep this. NEVER LOSE IT, EVER!” I nod as I put the bottle of battery acid in my pocket; the special one, where everything I put inside always reappears after a bit of time. "Now go find Sancho, so that he can pay me back my cactus money," Manto said. "But Sancho doesn't owe anyone," I say. "He always owes his half-brother, thank you very much," Manto says. "He's your half-brother?" "Yeah, we were created in the same lab but we were sent separate ways," Manto tells me mournfully. "I was given to the Queen of Italy and Sancho was sent into the wild to fend for himself. It was terrible." He's now better than you personality-wise I thought. I tell Manto I needed to go to the bathroom and abandon him on the field as I took a walk to the Eiffel tower. When I'm a block away from the Eiffel Tower, I see Manto standing on the sidewalk. "How - ?" "I have minor teleporting powers," Manto says. "They used to be full-range like Sancho's, but living in a castle, there isn't really that many places you need to go. I can teleport short distances." "What? Why didn't you tell me?" I demand. "You never asked," Manto sulks. "You underestimate me all the time. Jagusia's better than you, and she's the one who put red paint on my pot the day of her coronation, and everyone knows red paint on coronation day is bad luck for the wearer and the one being coronated them self." I blink. Then I say, "Well, are you going to help me or not?" Manto grumbles a little bit and then says, "See you there." and teleports away. I jog after him. Jerk, I thought. It took another day of walking and eating and setting things on fire before we reach the Tower of Ash. It's a famous land site now. Everyone knows it. It's been all over the news. There is a bar around it to stop people from stealing the ashes. I wait outside of it, trying to look like a tourist for a full hour. At 4:23 AM, the coast was finally clear. Manto had disappeared somewhere so I couldn't have his help trying to get in. Someone saw the flying ducks and fire so the glass was duck and fireproof. For once, I was completely out of ideas. It felt terrible. How do sane people stand it? The only thing I can think of to help me feel better is to poison and/or set fire to all the people around me. So I do. Eventually, after some hard work, I finally torch/poison the last tourist and I approach the Tower of Ash. I hadn't realized before, but now I realize that my frustration-releasing had cleared the coast, and now I could just figure out how to break the glass and walk right into the Tower of Ash. Now that I think about it if Alfalfa Ice Cream and Sancho are really in there, how do they breathe through the glass? There must be some other way in if they're managing to survive there. If they're even in the Tower of Ash, that is. I run out of ideas. I take my shoulder and smash into the wall. It shatters. I walk inside and is quickly transported. "Well, well, well. Look who we have here." I whirl around. A bunny is standing there. "Albus, charm her. We don't want another Llama Face. No sleeping, at all." Fat Bunny instructs. "Fat Bunny. Why? I have a cookie. FREE ME!" I beg. "Hmmm, okay, deal." I hand him my second emergency cookie and run for my life. I run straight into a wall. I merge in somehow and I'm in another room. Boy do I hate these portals, but right in front of me is Sancho. I run up but bounce back due to the force field. As I pound my fist against the force field, I call out to Sancho," SANCHO! SANCHO? Can you hear me? Are you okay?" He nods as he points out to the other side of the room, at a couch. He's telling me to set it on fire.'' I'' thought. Since I am very good at setting things on fire, I have absolutely no problem getting the matchstick through the force field and onto the couch. As soon as the match touches the couch, I hear an, 'OW!' and a not-so-invisible-anymore person stands up from the couch. "That hurt, you know," the person says as they slowly appear, little by little. I squint at the person and see that the person is a girl. "Who are you?" I ask, confused. "ALFALFA ICE CREAM!" she shouts gleefully, cackling evilly. I mean to say something like HOW DARE YOU CAPTURE MY SANCHO! But, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, "Alfalfa Ice Cream is a girl?" Alfalfa Ice Cream instantly bursts into tears. "EVERY TIME!!!" she wails. "THEY ALWAYS QUESTION MY GENDER! THEY DON'T EVEN SAY A THING ABOUT MY NAME, BECAUSE IT'S SO SURPRISING THAT I'M A GIRL!!!" she bursts tears. I stand there for a moment. "Speaking of your name, what kind of name is that, anyway?" She cries harder. "It reminds me of Spartak. You would think she was a boy too wouldn't you?" I continue ranting. "Turns out she was a girl. Name choices these days, horrible. Also, why are you actually named after Ice Cream & Alfalfa? It isn't even Alpaca! If it was Alpaca I would have..." She keeps crying. "Isn't Alfalfa a type of grass?" I frown at her. "Where did you even get that name from, anyway?" "Must you be so cruel? What have I done to you?" she says dramatically and puts a hand to her forehead, falling back onto the couch in a very soap-opera-ish way. Only the couch is on fire, so she falls into the flames and dies almost instantly. As soon as she dies, the force-field breaks, so I forget about Alfalfa Ice Cream's unfortunate name for a moment and hurry over to Sancho. "SANCHO, ARE YOU OKAY?" I yell, even though he can hear my just fine. I cut off the ropes binding him to the wall with a large butcher knife lying on the ground. The knife glows with bluish-purple light, and I realize it's a magical butcher knife. It's probably Alfalfa Ice Cream's, but it's mine now. Besides, she can't exactly come back from the dead and take it back from me. Suddenly, the Tower of Ash starts to collapse around us. The force-field was apparently the only thing holding up. We're going to die here. "SANCHO, MARRY ME!" I scream, even though I know it's completely irrational that I'm in love with a cactus. My boss, no less. And I'm even stupider for telling him now that we're going to die. But at least he'll know I love him. But Sancho nods, so I beam at him and say, "Well, we have a wedding to plan, so let's get out of here!" I feel unusually giddy. Maybe that's what love is, I don't know. I've never loved anything or anyone before, aside from fire. But fire and I are mere acquaintances. Sancho and I will be something more. I reached out to him, forgetting about the force field. The force field refused to budge though, dang it. Love usually worked in movies. Then I realize that the other force-field collapsed five minutes ago, so this one should have too, and my hand goes right through the force-field. I pick Sancho and his pot up and charge towards a wall in the Tower of Ash, setting a match on fire during the run. "FRITOLY!!!" I scream for no reason as we burst through the Tower of Ash. I carry Sancho past the shattered glass of the Tower of Ash's only protection and we duck as the Tower crashes down behind us. The police have arrived, and half of them are investigating the dead people lying all around. The other half is staring at Sancho and me. We stand awkwardly as the police surround us asking us questions, but i still feel giddy as i hold Sancho’s prickly hand (or whatever it’s called but still); even though blood is pouring out and I’m losing energy by the second. I faint. When I wake up, Sancho is standing over me. I get up and see that my hand is bandaged. I look around and see that there are no more police. We're not even at the remains of the Tower of Ash. We're standing at...an altar? "You got rid of the police? And we're getting married right now?" I ask. Sancho nods. I assume that's a yes for both questions. A priest walks up out of nowhere and says the stuff priests say at weddings. No one's there except for Manto, who beams at us happily. But then, people start pouring in as the priest speaks. I see Jagusia, the Queen of Italy, Jagusia's family (her Uncle Carlos and Aunt Beatrice, etc.), and some random people who wandered off the street. Sancho and I say our vows and when the priest says to kiss, I blow Sancho a kiss. I kind of want to be conscious during the reception. As I swing Sancho and his pot around at the reception, which is on a grassy field with torches on its four corners, I ask, "How did they know how to get here?" I jerk my head towards Jagusia and her family, who wave enthusiastically at me. A paper pops into existence over my head, and I read it as it floats down. I sent wedding invitations. That way, if my half-brother Manto died, there would still be witnesses to confirm our wedding. Even though that family didn't take me in with Manto, they had no idea I existed, because the scientists set me free before Manto was given to the Queen. So I'm okay with them being the witnesses. Besides, if Manto has lived happily with them, they must be okay people. I'm about to say they are but I think about it and decide that I rather not. I leave him with the impression they are stupid. TWO WEEKS LATER Sancho and I are on a beach, sitting on beach chairs on the property Sancho and I threatened the owner to give us for a weekend. A paper pops into existence above me, floating slowly downwards. I catch it and read it. Ann, we can't be together for too long. Or, actually, we need to stay undercover. If anyone finds out we're married, other than the Queen, then they will go after you to get to me. I know you're capable, but this is a serious problem.'' '' After sitting there in silence for a few moments, I nod silently. "It makes sense," I say reluctantly. "Should I give you to Sanchita? I know I just met her recently, but she'll take care of you and her mom is pretty tolerant of smoking, so..." Sancho nods. "And I can visit you occasionally," I say, warming up to the idea. "It'll be like a secret romance - because it is!" And so, two days later, I give Sancho to Sanchita. TWO YEARS LATER I'm holding a can of battery acid, the one that Manto gave me for emergencies when I'd told him my plan. He'd given me a solemn look as he gave the can to me, and said, "Ann, you're no Jagusia, but you're still one of the best care-takers I've ever had." "I'm the ONLY other care-taker you've had." I'd said, but I was beaming nonetheless. I took comfort from the fact that at least I had received acceptance from Manto, if not Sancho. The entire plan was for Sancho. When I'd given Sancho to Sanchita, I was expecting a fun forbidden romance. But no, Sanchita was always in the room when I was around Sancho. Sancho and I couldn't be anything more than civil while she was around. Despite our distance, my love grew stronger. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I know it isn't Sanchita's fault, but she's the only one I can blame for our separation. I have to kill Sanchita. The deed is done quickly. I feel no remorse as I roll Sanchita off the cliff. Manto is nearby, even though I told him not to be there. Rage clouds my vision as I throw him down the Cliff. I suddenly panic; everything I had just done, and everything before that, has hit me. I have to hide the evidence. How could I have killed Manto? All those people? And Sanchita?! She really had nothing to do with my love-sickness. I should have just stolen Sancho. I think about killing Sancho, for agreeing to this ridiculous plan of 'giving' himself to Sanchita. Not only that, but he's the one who thought of the idea of 'splitting up' to take off the metaphorical 'WANTED' poster off of my back. But I couldn't do that. I'm too in love with him. Stick to the plan, ''I think to myself. ''This is an emergency. You know what to do. Now it's my turn. I uncap the battery acid, and I drink. My name is Ann Sanchez, and I have served Sancho until the very end. Category:Stories Category:Fire trilogy